By: Avery T. Phillips
The greatest gifts you can give a dying loved one are to be by their side, do what you can to soothe and support them, and relieve suffering the best you can.
Even though death is an inevitable part of life, watching someone close to you experience the dying process and dealing with end of life care planning are a few of the hardest things you’ll ever go through.
Ensuring the highest level of comfort for a dying loved one will allow you to do what is in your control and accept what is not. Providing physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological support are a few goals to focus on as you help someone ease into their transition while respecting their wishes:
In the days and hours before a person’s death, nurses deliver much of the physical care for your loved one, but there are several simple things you can do to supplement care and provide a positive environment.
What are some of the signs that indicate a dying person is uncomfortable or in pain? According the blog On The Way to Dying, “they keep shifting around in the bed, trying to get comfortable, or scrunch their face into a grimace or their limbs contract in a muscle spasm. These are just some of the signals that they are experiencing pain.”
For some, spiritual needs are just as important as physical comfort and care toward the end of life. Most of us wonder about the meaning of life and if there’s an afterlife. It may be especially important for your loved one to talk about if they so choose.
“Spirituality is the deep inner essence of who we are,” according to an article on AARP. “Related to our soul, spirituality comes from the unique qualities of each individual. It is based on personal experiences and relationship with God, nature or a higher power. It answers the question: Why am I here?”
You’ll want to talk to your loved one about what they need to help avoid any spiritual pain they might be experiencing. They should be encouraged to talk about their feelings. Meditation, mindfulness, and mantras might be helpful. Ask your loved one if they would like a spiritual leader to be present.
For someone who is alert enough to know what’s happening, it’s important to allow them to talk about any emotional fears they may have. They may be feeling anxious, regretful, depressed or angry over their situation.
A hospice social worker or qualified counselor can help you and your loved one navigate any emotions and concerns that come up. Some people fear being alone, or they fear the unknown, or they are worried about the people they are leaving behind.
Make sure they feel loved while also giving them time to process and rest. Restlessness and anxiety indicate the need for more communication. The process of letting go is a normal part of dying, but be prepared for the gamut of emotional and mental changes one might be experiencing along the way.
Being there for a dying loved one is a selfless act. At the same time, it’s important to be mindful of the effects of grief and loss that may impact your own mental health. Providing quality comfort and care for both your loved one and yourself are important factors in the big picture of an ending life. The end of life is never an easy process. By following some of our tips, you’ll be more prepared to help your loved one and yourself.
Avery T. Phillips is a freelance human being with too much to say. She loves nature and examining human interactions with the world. Comment or tweet her @a_taylorian with any questions or suggestions.